Go Ye Therefore

Leadership Qualities: Listening Part 6

 Healthy Confrontation-Philemon 8-10

The best way to solve many problems is to confront them. Sometimes those problems are people. Paul took great pains to confront Philemon about Onesimus. Consider these steps for confronting someone:

  1. Pray through your own anger. Don’t let emotion lead you. Wait until you can be objective.
  2. Initiate the contact. Don’t wait for the other person. God calls us to make things right.
  3. Begin with affirmation. Encourage first, then receive permission to talk candidly.
  4. Admit you have a problem. Don’t say it’s the other person’s problem; admit you are struggling.
  5. Bring up the issue and explain you don’t understand what’s happened. Aim to clarify.
  6. Let the person respond. After you lay out the issue, let the individual speak from his or her angle.
  7. Narrow the focus. Identify and prioritize the issues. Go after one change at a time.
  8. Establish forgiveness and repentance, if needed. Don’t stop until change occurs.
  9. Compromise on opinions, not on principles. Be flexible with everything except truth.
  10. Pray and affirm your love as you close. Never let the person doubt God’s love or yours.

Join me next time for Leadership Qualities: Listening Part 7